David played a dirty joke on me last night and I thought I would take this opportunity in my massive procrastination session to share (I have a huge Physiology test Thursday...and Ellen's on, and.....) Anyways, I was working at the hospital and on my dinner break I texted him as I always do when I work evenings.....his response to my text...no hello....no blah blah blah what are you doing, how is work pleasantries.....just "it's snowing!" After a minor freak out session....I found out it was indeed not snowing. (he was in trouble let me just tell you) The sick twisted part...it was raining/sleeting when I got off...and let me just tell you...driving home in the dark with that kind of weather....it's a miracle I made it home alive (I'm pretty sure I lost sight of the road atleast 3 times).
We have had "winter weather advisories" in our forecast for the past few days now, and our friend Jack Frost has been visiting our windshields in the morning....so I'm sure that gross thing we called snow is right around the corner. The weather reports are predicting a trace-1inch of snow overnight and into tomorrow morning....and while I know to most people around here that's absolutely nothing....back home schools would already be on a delay and all other sorts of mayhem wouldn't be far behind.
Good thing David got me that awesome snow shovel a couple weeks ago....SURPRISE!
This blog requires a disclaimer: For all my Iowan friends who may or may not read this blog...this post may or may not offend you...if it does...you should know that if you are indeed my friend....you are exclusive of the generalizations that are about to be made...because in all honesty....I don't have friends who DGF.
If you are unfamiliar with the term DGF please watch the following video to update yourselves (the true explanation of this term can be found at or around minute 1:45 and is only about a minute---so don't be alarmed that you have to watch the full 7 minutes....however if you do be warned that it is quite raunchy and somewhat hilarious)
As with most stories...this one requires a back story to catch you up on how DGF came to be. On our trip home this past summer David, my mother, and myself listened to countless hours of comedy cd's to pass the 16 hour drive. During this part of the comedy skit (in the video above)...and through the tears of gut wrenching laughter....I came to the realization...this describes Iowans and the way of life here...to a T...they just don't give a f*uck....and there was born the theory of DGF. We use this phrase often when we see something absolutely ridiculous occur right in front of our eyes....to which we shrug and say....DGF!
Ever since the DGF theory of living was born, it has really got me thinking about the good and bad of a DGF lifestyle. For the past 26+ years....our lives have been built on the basis and morals of exactly the opposite of DGF....let's call it GTMF (giving too much of a f*ck...aka the southern way). Southerners care about EVERYTHING....and they will judge you and your life accordingly (I can indeed make this proclamation without affliction because I too care about EVERYTHING and judge everyone according to how much they GF). I'm afraid that until I adopt a happy medium between DGF and GTMF I will forever be plagued with the horror of pointing out everytime someone DGF's....which could or could not be the humor or horror that makes or breaks my whole entire day.
Let me give you an example. Today is Sunday....and I went out for coffee at 8am without having had a shower, wearing my yoga pants, a hoodie, and what some people (i.e. David) call bedroom slippers (I call them furry shoes that are easily slipped on---they have hard bottoms people...automatically canceling their bedroom slipper status...don't get it twisted!). Let me count the ways this situation would be considered just plain wrong back home. First and foremost NOTHING is open before 1pm on a Sunday...and had I found a place open for coffee and went there in my said attire...people would have looked at me as if I were Satan himself. (I mean why else would an unshowered person appear in public before 1pm in their p.j.'s unless they were in fact Satan...or homeless....because everyone else is in church---I know this is a tad bit of an exaggeration but it's not far from the truth). It might have been that I classed it up too much with yoga pants, but no one even skipped a beat in their day, turned up their nose, or even passed me the stank eye when I walked into the coffee shop.
I have found myself on many occasion worrying about whether or not I'm over dressed for an occasion (because a t-shirt and jeans are acceptable attire ANYWHERE here, even a nice resturant...where they may put on a polo if it's a celebration) only to find when I arrive that I am, more times than not, in fact over dressed.
David and I both have found that in many social situations....people DGF about the experience you are having or are about to have in their place of business and/or establisment. This is applicable in restaurants, apartment hunting, and especially in entertaining scenarios. For example, when you walk into a restaurant back home...and it's OBVIOUS that you've never been their before...resturant staff offer to help you, answer your questions, or merely tell you about the place...or at the very least make you feel welcome. (This is what most of us know as customer service...however to Iowans...it's called "figure it out yourself...if you like our food come back...if you don't we DGF"). The hospital even makes their whole entire staff of thousands of employees go to what they call "Service Excellence"....I went to one installment...and decided that what they call "Service Excellence" I call "Home Training" --- needless to say I will be avoiding any more of these "trainings."
Our first DGF experience we had here was when we were apartment hunting. (And let me just say it was a nightmare....the next time we move it will be back home) We had few choices of apartments here (because the area of North Liberty has about 3 acceptable options for apartment living), we contacted a leasing agent for this one apartment we found online and set up a viewing time of this one unit we were interested in subleasing...and let me just say this experience was A-W-F-U-L. First she was late for the appointment (which we now know is par for the course here), then the tenant who was living there was home (SERIOUSLY?! could you not walk your super huge dog around the block so we could look through your apartment in peace?!) ...not to mention the apartment smelled like the current tenant's huge dog. I immediately showed my disgust and we high tailed it out of there. This my friends is our "go-to example" of Iowans and their innate ability to DGF. This experience back home would have consisted of the leasing agent asking the tenant to leave for a viewing (taking his dog with him), and sprucing up the place (i.e. hiding all ghetto-ness, and at the very least spraying freshener). But alas, DGF prevails....take it or leave it....we DGF.
My final example comes from our experience in entertaining/being a guest in someones home. It is to our standards as guests that we atleast get offered a beverage (which I will polietly decline until it is appropriate to drink because let's face it that's how us southern belle's roll)...or a seat without dog hair becoming apart of our wardrobe (everyone here has dogs...which is great...I love dogs...but seriously...it's called a lint roller). It is simple etiquette that most "party hostesses" lack here. I mean seriously, you can't provide a cutely displayed appetizer or some creative beverages?? What?! It's fend for yourself I'm afraid...even in someone elses home...which to me is just weird/boarderline rude (unless you're of course family...which we are most certainly excluded from here). My mother even says that (in winter especially) in some homes where you are a guest....it's custom to take off your shoes at the door...WTF people my shoes go with the outfit...and they're not comin off (I saw that episode of Sex and the City where someone stole Carrie's cute pair of Manolo's...and I won't be a victim of shoe thievary)
While DGF most of the time absolutely gets on my nerves to no end....it may actually be quite liberating to DGF every now and then. On the day's I'm feeling lazy....I might have to admit that I will (within boundaries) DGF slightly. But the second I go full fledged DGF...someone stage an intervention! I will always be polite, I will always ask if someone needs help if they look lost, or appear to have trouble breathing (like an old lady in the fabric store just the other day..seriously it was scary)....I will smile and say excuse me if I walk in front of you in the grocery store while you're obviously trying to scan the shelf for something you may desperately need. I will offer my apologies if I am in your way/cut you off, or in any way make any social situation uncomfortable for you. I will courtesy wave when you let me cross the cross walk (this includes looking both ways before traipsing out into traffic--which people also have a hard time comprehending here), or if you simply go out of your way to let me go first at a 4 way stop. I will always be on time, or early, for any event in which other people are depending on my punctuality...because I like to show people I value their time too. I will always bring the hostess a gift (as it is proper etiquette) and/or offer to bring something to contribute to the overall experience of the event you are hosting. I will always send Thank you notes and I will always show my gratitude when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for me. While all these things and more have been ingrained in me since birth....I too must also try and bend the rules, let go a little, and DGF (with limits)
When I first moved here EVERYONE said this to me....and I thought "people say that everywhere...how true can that statement really be?" --- it might have taken me almost a year...but I now believe whole heartedly in the validity of this statement.
Take for example the weather forecast for today.....KCRG TV9 Weather.
(A summary of the above video in case you just want the cliff notes-- weather people here don't know squat)
Please allow me to elaborate.
During the winter months especially, I feel like meterologists should just take the season off because there is absolutely zero predictability of the weather here! In what alternate universe do you reach your daily highs at midnight/1am?! And just fyi I can look out my window and predict a better forecast than these crazy people....like right now...they're predicting a 90% chance of rain....it's sunny out with blue skies. I'm pretty sure that's an indication that I should indeed take my fellow Iowan's advice and wait 5 minutes for the rain/snow mix to scare me into some sort of winter apoclaypse oblivion where I rush to the grocery stores and buy all the milk and bread on the shelves. (I kid I kid...people don't do that here...they could care less about snow/and or any sort of winter apocalypse---but that's another blog)
So go ahead...try and plan your day based on the weather forecast here....it's impossible! Allow me to offer some practical advice in braving the days here....grab the biggest bag/purse you can find...throw in an umbrella, a scarf, some gloves, a coat, a hoodie, and some snow boots (and hell while your at it you better pack a change of clothes too...because after all you never know!)....and give the day your best shot. ---- Or you could take the easy way out....curl up with some coffee, klgandhoda, and your knitting and have a guaranteed best day you've had in weeks! Now that's what I call a forecast!
There are a few colorful, fall time leaves left on the trees around here...however our good friend winter is right around the corner! With that in mind we've tried to get out and about as much as possible these past few weeks in hopes of storing the sunshine, and warm weather in our pockets to bring out on those cold, snowy winter days ahead!
Before I get ahead of myself, let me say, fall time around here is a little different than back home. Not only is the weather actually that of fall time, but it's all about harvesting here (surprise surprise with all this corn!)
We kicked off Fall at the Kalona Fall Festival at the beginning of October. (Kalona is the Amish Community not too far from here) The Festival was located in their Historical Museum area and there were lots of local artists, fall food, and SHOPPING! (needless to say I might have enjoyed this festival a little more than David did...but he's always such a good sport!)
P.S.- My fav thing about Kalona is seeing the horse and buggies and Amish people...My dad tries to say its not a side show and this is their life...but either way I still think its cool
Our next round of Fall Fun was this past weekend at Bloomsbury Farms in Atkins Iowa. (You want to talk about middle of nowhere....this is it folks. I know that most people would think if you're going to a place with "Farms" in the title...you might expect to go to the middle of nowhere....but I atleast thought there would be a main street for antique/fabric shopping....I was sadly mistaken)---Middle of Nowhere Iowa redeemed itself with tons of fun activities...including farm animals, a pumpkin patch, pig races, haunted houses, a "pumpkin blaster" (which I'm pretty sure in the book of redneck is registered off the redneck charts), and my fav part of the day---the corn maze!!! This corn maze was 10 acres and we actually made it through the whole thing...which is pretty impressive if I do say so myself!
That whole map up there...yea we made it through that...but you should have seen the very unimpressive prize basket (epic fail)
With a few more weeks till the first snow...we're enjoyin' these gorgeous leaves and fall time fun! Happy Fall Ya'll!
{I'm leaving you with a photo....it was taken at the Kalona Fall Festival....and it is now my mission...on any adventure we embark...and thus we blog....you will be left with a photo similar to this....Pop 75¢ }
Time....sometimes it drags on....and sometimes it flies by. I can't believe David and I have been here in Iowa almost a whole year already!!! It's amazing the things you can experience in a year.....we've seen places and things we never would have thought we'd ever see....we've experienced much of the Midwest culture....and now that we finally have our feet underneath us (and have gotten over all of our awkward "firsts" here)....we decided to start a blog of our experiences for the next few years!
So let me catch you up on what's been going on over the past 11 months:
We made it through our first blizzard (well I did--this was in January...David moved in February): I have NEVER seen that much snow in my LIFE! And am praying we don't have another one of those for a long long time---- Some drifts were literally over my head...it was nuts!
**I also experienced the negative double digits which David also missed out on...but his time is coming soon!!!***
We both have new jobs at The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics (that are insanely different from the jobs we left back home) David as an Area Mechanic (still my hunky maintenance man) and I as a Nursing Assistant on the Medical Cardiology Inpatient Unit.
We traveled (with our first visitor Jillian) to Chicago! Saw the Bean, Millennium Park, the Magnificent Mile, and shoved face with Deep Dish Pizza! We LOVE this city and can't wait to spend the whole winter planning our next trip. (I love that it's only 4 hours away!)
We took tons of trips this spring/summer near and far---Including a couple of trips to visit Renee and Matt in Kentucky (for the Domis Family Marathon and for the NASCAR race), and we made the 16 hour road trip back home!
We also made a lot of "day trips" around this state o' corn (The Amana Colonies, a Mississippi River small town tour --including LeClaire, Home of the American Pickers, The Iowa State Fair in DesMoines, The Amish Community of Kalona, and many more I'm sure I'm forgetting in between)
There has also been a lot of adjusting to the Midwest way of life....which let me just say is insanely different from the Southern Charm we hold near and dear to our hearts (I'm sure there will be many more blog posts on this very subject!)
With this recap I must also add my disclaimer for this blog: My opinions are that of a strong willed, stubborn southern girl....and may or may not offend those with tender hearts. Please keep this in mind if you feel offended, inclined to comment negatively to my opinions, or feel your blood pressure rise in ways it does not normally rise without the presence of strenuous exercise. Please don't read this blog if you are sensitive to issues involving Midwest living and my strong opposition to the way things are done here, if you are taking MAOI's that may block your re uptake of endorphins that may be overly produced while reading this blog, or if you can not sit or stand for the duration of time it takes for you to read an entire post. Please consult your doctor if you have procrastination problems as you may have an unsafe drop in productivity while having to compulsively check if I have posted an update within 24 hours. Otherwise please enjoy the accounts of our adventures here within moderation and with heavy alcohol consumption (preferably wine).
What I'm listening to: Sara Barellies---Gonna Get Over you
This song is dedicated to my love affair with the South...
